Close

Let's close ourselves
and not go any further.
It's simple-
A clean break
for the Heartbreaker.
What then is left?
Your fogged harbor.
My blossoms that never bloomed.
Leave them here.

I'm going to close myself to you.
I'll leave you here.
Madness weaves
a professional loom.
But I was crazed from the beginning.

Ticking off the months
I took a total-
It was only one but I felt the eternity
drive through me.
It pulverized my bones.
Made me old.
My clothes limp,
My hair ragged,
My eyes withdrawn
reduced to the size of finger nail clippings-
Half moon shapes.
My moon isn't so bright
anymore.

We drove to distant highways.
The desert to the west
my oceanic heart to the east.
And I find you in the middle-
Carrying your ambivalence like so much baggage.
You've chased too many mirages.
The pretty girls are piled up,
dying for love!
They make a comfy pile.
Could we entice you to lie down
for a while?

Can I ask?
Was it always that easy?
and
should we blame you for all of this
and
so much more?

And so much baggage you carry around.
Just look will you-
your purity wipes away easily with
a little soap and water.
Five years of fornication!
Your mouth- dry.
Your skin- smooth but papery.
Your lungs- desiccated puff bags
wheezing in and out like a broken accordion.
Nothing functions any more.
Whatever we did, didn't work.

I've closed the book, the phone, the door on you.
I've closed my mind to changing
Manifest the old ways.
I'm adamant this time.
I like who I am-
I mean it this time.
It was you, the restless one.
It was you and you and
only you.

I've closed you.
Why won't you go?